Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

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If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

What happens if someone fills up their car at the pump but leaves without paying? How is this situation typically handled?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Who is someone that inspires you?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand how hurricane paths work

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

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I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

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authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

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I have complete contempt for fakery

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Having read so much about Archie and Lilibet not actually existing, does anyone have any proof that they not only exist but that Meghan gave birth to them?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

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I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

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I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Why did I move on so fast from a relationship that was my whole life and I was so attached, I moved on by 2 months?

I can count

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

What is something you have to share?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t buy bullshit

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Why do some men want to remain single despite the fact that many women want to have a romantic relationship with them?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Why do narcissists keep calling on the phone after years of separation?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have a reading level above third grade

My wife has a bunch of really attractive friends, and she expects me to never say anything to her about how beautiful they are. Does this seem fair? I love my wife, and just commenting shouldn’t hurt anything, right?

I actually pay taxes

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I can read

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I see through liars

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”